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Reflections: Turkeys are still around

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By Thomas W. Ivines

I'll bet you thought after Thanksgiving you wouldn't see any more turkey. Well, guess what? The department stores are full of them.

Turkeys are especially prevalent during the Christmas Holidays. They lurk in every department store in America and go under the guise of "part-time help."

Yes, they are the ones who know absolutely nothing about retail sales, and, why should they? They only work a couple months a year! That seems to be the only time they can get a job.

You can identify them easily because they usually send you down the wrong isles when you ask for help.

"Where do I find tires and batteries?"

"Uh, oh, take the next isle and make a left at baby clothes. Then go straight and you should see them."

Yep, that's the way to the lawn and garden shop all right.

Now, I've talked about these turkeys before, so you've have had ample warning. The best bet is to just read the signs that hang from the ceilings.

Just look up. Most Wal-Marts have signs like the grocery store signs: coffee, tea, and sweeteners? You know what I mean.

Those inexperienced, part time employees are only going to mislead you. Obviously they've never looked up before. Maybe they don't know how to look up.

The folks who put those ads in the newspaper are turkeys, too. I mean why do they advertise the latest Nintendo players on sale when they only have two in stock.

The line around Tarje' (Target) was two blocks long on Black Friday. You know: That's when the stores open at 4 a.m. for the super sales. What a come-on. The turkeys that put those on should be stuffed and cooked.

Well, I guess it's necessary to Christmas shop, and that's why I use the Internet. If I have to deal with turkeys I don't have to see them.

The only thing I have to deal with is the Styrofoam peanut packing they use to pack the boxes. Those turkeys use tons of it. Whatever happened to newspaper?

Well, let's face it. There are turkeys everywhere all year long but they seem to be most prevalent during the holidays.

If you don't believe me, just get in your car and drive to the mall. See if one doesn't pull in front of you just before you get to the only parking spot left in the whole parking lot.

If you don?t see one there in the mall parking lot, you will undoubtedly see one on your way home. They're the ones who drive obliviously in the heavy traffic with cell phones stuck in their ears.

Yes, 'tis the season for turkeys. You just have to learn how to work around them.

Anyway, happy Christmas shopping! I hope you find what you're looking for.

Only 25 more shopping days.